Monkey Bath!

Discussion in 'Sidewalk Cafe' started by Reachy, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. Reachy

    Reachy New Member

    I'm sure you've heard a lot of these before but I think they are worth repeating for a laff!!!

    New Words for 2007:

    SALAD DODGER
    An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

    SWAMP-DONKEY
    A deeply unattractive person.

    TESTICULATING
    Waving your arms around and talking b@ll@cks

    BLAMESTORMING
    Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    SEAGULL MANAGER
    A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr@ps on everything, and then leaves.

    ASSMOSIS
    The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

    SALMON DAY
    The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

    CUBE FARM
    An office filled with cubicles.

    PRAIRIE DOGGING
    When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

    SITCOMs
    Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

    SINBAD
    Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

    AEROPLANE BLONDE
    One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

    PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
    The fine art of whacking the cr@p out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

    ADMINISPHERE
    The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

    GOING FOR A McSHIT
    Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McSh!t with Lies.

    404
    Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

    AUSSIE KISS
    Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

    OH - NO SECOND
    That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

    GREYHOUND
    A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

    JOHNNY-NO-STARS
    A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

    MILLENNIUM DOMES
    The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

    MONKEY BATH
    A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

    MYSTERY BUS
    The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

    MYSTERY TAXI
    The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

    BEER COAT
    The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.

    BEER COMPASS
    The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

    BREAKING THE SEAL
    Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

    TART FUEL
    Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

    PICASSO BUM
    A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.


    Cheers

    Reachy
     
  2. toolman1

    toolman1 Active Member

    I don't get it. Besides monkeys don't take baths, they take showers as Monkeysystem can verify. :cool:
     

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