Telemarketer Nightmare

Discussion in 'Sidewalk Cafe' started by KenSmith, Oct 18, 2006.

  1. KenSmith

    KenSmith Administrator Staff Member

  2. tgun

    tgun Member

    funny

    Thanks Ken, I needed a good laugh!


    tgun
     
  3. fgk42

    fgk42 New Member

    Ken,

    I just listened to this link and it was very funny! Please post more of these! :laugh:
     
  4. Reachy

    Reachy New Member

    You asked for it!

    And I got loads more where these came from....

    http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/bergis-gay-school-p1.php

    http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/magazine-prank-call-p1.php

    Below is a genuine resignation letter

    This was a true letter of resignation sent.

    Mr Baker,

    As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

    Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow.

    One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f-- k with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

    Sincerely,
    Ted Brewer


    Enjoy

    Reachy
     
  5. ANDY 956

    ANDY 956 Member

    Telephone selling

    Great post Ken,

    I must have played it back over thirty times for friends and family.

    I have been rehearsing the lines for when I get the next “cold call” from company’s trying to sell me something over the phone.

    Andy :laugh:
     
  6. RKuczek

    RKuczek Member

    Great

    just listened to it - this is great!!!!
     
  7. pergo56

    pergo56 Member

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